My last blog was about music, too. Music is incredibly powerful, and can be totally wonderful. But after my first real heartbreak, I listened to Christian music nonstop. I couldn’t listen to anything else. I needed the constant reminder of His love and I needed to listen to songs that could only improve my mood and mental health. Christian music was an outlet and a safe haven for me.
The song that found its way into my heart and into every shower cry was the song “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)” by Hillsong United.
“You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine . . .
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior.”
I used to not like to talk publicly about my faith. I never wanted to offend someone, because I recognize that everyone follows different belief systems. As I grew older, I realized that I am never offended by someone sharing a key part of their heart and their faith, so I hope I can share the same here.
I have been healing and growing for a long time. I’m nowhere near perfect. I always say I’m an imperfect girl loved by a totally perfect God… and that is the truth. This song would remind me of God’s hand in my life even at the darkest of times.
As I stood on the San Clemente pier after a morning jog, I allowed the wind to blow through my hair as I tilted my face towards the radiant beams of a high, strong sun…. I played this song.
The song felt so different. Instead of the usual reminder that God would lead me and take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, it was instead a brilliant moment of “Here, Alex. This is what I was talking about. Can you see what I’ve been working on for you?”
I stood there, surrounded by waves on three sides, staring out at endless waves of blue water, basking in His glory and the beauty of His promises for me. In that moment, I felt free of invisible chains that had been weighing me down. Am I healed or perfect or done growing in my faith, life, mental health, physical journey, or any other facet of my life? Absolutely not. As one of my favorite instagrammers (@GoFitJo) would say… I am a #WomanInProgress.
So… what’s my message to all of you? Bask in the little moments. These little moments could be God’s way of sending big messages.
For me, it was this moment, standing on the pier and surrounded by the ocean and feeling God speaking to my heart. I am glad that my faith could stand – my faith carried me through the darkest of times. I had to surrender myself and trust in Him fully to fulfill (and continue to fulfill) his promises to me. My faith was made stronger when I brought Him more deeply into my life (and my Spotify playlists :)).
I felt called to share this message with you. If you are hurting or healing — you are not forgotten. You are loved, you are heard, and the Lord will fulfill his promises to you. Remember that your plans may not be His promises, and that is this beautiful craziness we call life.
“I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine.”
God, thank you for the reminder of just how small my problems are in the midst of the ocean of your love. You have held my hand and lead me through deep water, deeper than my feet could ever wander alone.
Thank you Jesus for the sign. I got your message loud and clear, and you rock my socks.